Time for a Break Up

For a lot of people, a new year is a time of reflection. People examine their health, careers, passions, and relationships. One especially tricky relationship is money. Sometimes it’s quite toxic. So for 2022, maybe your best resolution is actually a break up…with Benjamin.

I’ve never been much of a New Year’s resolution kind of person. However, I am a bit of a personal finance nerd. Every December 31^st I update my financial picture. I look at my annual investment performance and keep track of my net worth. I review the last 12 months of budgets/spending and update my monthly budget for the next year.

I’ve taught personal finance classes at church, read books and articles on money management and investment. While I’m no financial guru, I started thinking about what tips could I share to help others who might be thinking about a fresh start to their financial picture (especially after looking at Christmas shopping bills?). I realized that my best money advice was less about money and more about an exercise in personal reflection. Perfect for the new year.

Best money advice

The best money advice I can think of isn’t about money at all.  It’s about relationships.  Have you ever thought about your relationship with Benjamin, Alexander, Abraham or even George? One of the greatest mistakes people make is having or seeing money as something they’re in a relationship with. Love money, hate money. Money makes me happy. Money stresses me out. No, no, and more no.

Money is an inanimate thing. It has no emotions, thoughts, motives, or feelings. People even sometimes misquote the Bible as saying “money is the root of all evil.” Money isn’t good or evil. We are. The love of money…now that’s a problem because money wasn’t designed to be loved. Money only has the power to affect us emotionally if we allow it.  

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

1 Timothy 6:10 NKJV

Think about this. When’s the last time you went shopping for something with your best friend, your child or your spouse and traded that person in for an item you took home that day? Have you ever talked to a hundred dollar bill? Never, right? Money is no comparison to the people we actually have relationship with. And guess what? Money doesn’t make you secure or insecure. We buy into an illusion that money provides security. Jesus taught about this illusion in Luke 12:13-21.

The Parable of the Rich Fool

¹⁶ Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. ¹⁷ And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ ¹⁸ So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. ¹⁹ And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.” ’ ²⁰ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’

²¹ “So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

The Bible has so much to say about money. Mostly, because I think we are all prone to entering a toxic relationship with money when we were made for relationship with God. Money is purely currency. It doesn’t deserve our heart. If you’re looking to improve or change your financial picture, start by understanding how you view money, the emotions tied to it, and why.

Sorry Benjamin, but it’s over.

Start viewing money purely for what it is. It’s a man-made currency system to make trade and economic transactions easier. That piece of paper literally only has the value you and other people agree it has, and it changes over time and in various situations. There’s nothing relational there, just transactional.

All the feeling and emotion you have related to money comes from you. It’s a good time to ask yourself why. Before you set a savings goal, a debt payoff strategy or build a budget, understand how your personal history, life experience, and the good/bad money advice you carry shape your perspective on money. Talk to God about it. Seek some Truth. Find out if your view lines up with God’s Word on the matter. But most of all, end the toxic relationship. Benjamin isn’t good enough for you anyway.